Rushing to meet Kaitlyn (daughter) and David (husband) for dinner one night last week, I arrived at the meeting place to find myself harried and waiting….and frustrated.  In my mind, we had already rushed through dinner and were arriving late for Tennessee Shines.  Am I the only one does this?

So, I sat in the car and breathed deeply and evenly.  Though calmer and a little more present, I was still frustrated by the time David arrived.  Being my best friend, he asked what was wrong.  Being his best friend, I told him, with as much kindness and respect as I could.  Though I was frustrated with him for not meeting me at the time I thought we were meeting, my frustration was not his responsibility.

What struck me about this moment in time when I was out of this moment was how easy it was to come back to the present.  I mean, it didn’t happen in the snap of my fingers, but as I reflect on what happened, I recognize a couple of components that brought me back so that by the time Kait showed up, I was fully present and happy to be where I was.

The reason I think it’s important to reflect on this stuff is that I think it takes practice, and for me, I need to know what I’m practicing.

First, I practiced self acceptance – accepting that I was frustrated and worried about being late.

Second, I took responsibility for my own state without blaming others.

Third, I began working to restore my state with breathing (and another trick that’s takes more explanation than I want to go into here).

Fourth, this is where it’s interesting for me because I told David what was going on for me and he listened, really listened as he usually does, and he gave me empathetic understanding.  He didn’t justify or resist me, he simply accepted how I felt and conveyed his understanding of what I was experiencing.  Why that’s interesting is that because he was being present, he was fully present with me.  And, his being present helped me return to the present.

So, again I am reminded of the incredible power of self acceptance, self responsibilty, the breath and empathy.  I imagine that had David been less than empathetic, I might have found even more reasons to hold onto my frustration, trying to justify my position and stayed even more stuck in some moment other than the present moment.  I would have discharged the charge without his empathy, but it would have taken me longer.  Yayy for empathy!