I think that my radar is turned on to the debilitating nature of having a judgmental attitude.  I see so much pain caused from the ego’s tendency of insisting that its world view is the CORRECT world view, as if there aren’t a gyadrillion perspectives on various life circumstances.  I am seeing this pain in my clients and on the news, all caused by ideas about how others should be.  It’s a pain that is not too difficult to prevent.

From personal and professional relationships ravaged by incessant criticism and judgments (spoken and unspoken) to the ethnocentric propaganda that contributes to conflicts between countries, unspeakable pain and suffering arise.   The position that any one of us holds the ONLY view about what is right and wrong causes pain.  This pain is rooted in the limited perspective of the ego.

And here’s the rub.  So many of us identify solely with the ego, we tend to forget that we are all part of a bigger picture AND we are all so much more than our scrawny adorable egos.  And, that’s the basis of what’s important to me.  It’s why I do what I do … helping make the shift from identification with the ego to identification with our greater Self.

So here we are . . . shoulding, judging and criticizing ~ oh my.

What to do?  It’s really not that tough.  If only for a day at a time, what if we all just began noticing the rules we put on how others should be living life, or what we should be doing?  Just notice.  Then make the choice, are you willing to drop the should? Are you willing to consider your should a preference?

I’m starting to think that should is one of the vilest curse words ever, even worse than … well, you know.

One more time, here’s the game.  Just start noticing how you should on yourself and others.  Notice how characters on TV cause pain and drama by shoulding on themselves and others.  Then, start noticing the rules you are placing on how others ought to live their lives.  Do these rules enrich your life?  Do they make you feel happy?  Do they contribute to your feeling more peace?

No?

So what if you just dropped the should?  What if you recognized that your should is really a preference?

What if we all stopped waiting for others to change.  Please?  You and I can truly change the world, one little should at a time.

What if we began with changing the shoulds to preferences?  Just for a week.

Wanna play?  What kind of magic might happen in your relationships if you stopped shoulding, judging and criticizing?  Just for a week.