mindfulness | peacefruit

packing a balanced boat

June 1, 2010 – 11:11 am

Personal Peace – YUMMMMMMM. Sometimes it seems so very far away, yet the key is as close as your next breath. When you realize that and take full ownership of your experience in life, you are in for a pretty sweet ride.

When I was in my twenties, I spent several summers as a guide on the Colorado River in southern Utah. I’m still unpacking what I learned on the river and from the desert in those summers. One perfectly obvious lesson came from packing and unpacking my boat. I was responsible for my boat. Of course, I could ask for help and it was there in a skinny minute. But when it came time to get on the river, the oars were in MY hands.

It was up to me to make sure that the boat was balanced. And we all know that a balanced boat makes for a smoother ride. It was up to me to stay in the current and navigate the rapids. How this translates today is that I can pack the boat of my life with all kinds of activities, people, and thoughts that take me out of the current of my life. And, before I know it, I’m trying my darnedest to paddle my way out of some eddie or I’m rowing backwards through some rapid.

Or, I can get conscious about what I’m putting in the boat of my life — today. I can make sure that my boat is balanced with the three essential keys to life balance and personal peace – centering practice, self reflection and body care. I can anticipate any rapids that I might be approaching and make the necessary adjustments to navigate those life challenges with greater equipoise and greater peace. This is made so much easier if I’m already rowing along with centering practice, self reflection and body care.

When I’m taking care of myself through regular centering practice, self reflection and body care – the boat of my life floats along life’s current with much greater ease. If I neglect one of these, I’m sunk. Though I’d really like to unpack this topic more completely, a blog post just doesn’t lend itself to this exploration. That’s why I created the Reclaim Your Life 21 Day Challenge. Stay tuned. I’ll tell you more later.

In the meantime, what about you? How’s the boat of your life packed today? Are you making sure to pack your boat well? What one thing can you do today that will help you feel more centered?

By Melanie | Posted in meditation, mindfulness, power of now | Tagged inner peace, mindfulness, packing a boat, peace, practical spirituality, present moment, spiritual practice, spirituality| Comments (10)

want this, not that

May 12, 2010 – 10:23 am

I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but suffering in life is not going away. I’m reminded of this for many reasons. And, no the suffering in my life is not one of them. Just turn on the news or talk with someone for whom you care. Suffering in our very human lives is here to stay. Still reading?

Here’s the good news, not all of life is suffering. What this means in terms of being in life with more equipoise, with greater equanimity, is that as you practice being in life with friendly detachment, the ups and downs of life’s storms – - – even the emotional storms have less power over you.

Rarely does an emotional storm just hit. Imagine you are standing in your doorway looking out on a bright sunny day and then all of a sudden, I mean in an instant, you are swept out of your doorway into the broiling fury of a hurricane.

Storms don’t really work like that. First you might notice a cool wind, then the clouds start to shift, then the sky gets dark, then it starts drizzling, then it starts raining. Then the thunder and lightening, then maybe there’s hail and furious winds, by now, you should be taking cover, right? Gradually, the storm dissipates. The thunder and lightening rolls away, the rain lessons and then becomes a sprinkle and soon the sun is back out with it’s warmth and promise.

Emotionally, it’s much the same. Notice the choice points every step of the way. There are choice points where you can notice the thought (maybe it has something to do with attraction or aversion), you can right then practice being with the thought and the emotion while it’s a breeze before it becomes a wind. As a physician friend said, you begin to activate Heisenberg’s Principle (I think that’s correct). Watching changes what you are watching. Wanna read that again? Watching, changes what you are watching. When you observe something, what you are observing changes.

I think of this as kind of naming the beast of whatever you are experiencing. You name it. Then just practice being with it — as the ocean is with it’s own waves. It’s not upset that there’s a wave. It’s just there. It’s part of the ocean, but it’s not the whole ocean. So it is with our own upsets. So it is with the circumstances of our lives.

This is much much much easier to do if you have a formal meditation practice. I know I tend to get on a soap box about this. So I’ll not rant too long. If you don’t meditate or engage in some centering practice. Start. You will be so happy you did. I’ve got a couple of free recordings under free stuff to help you get started. Soon, I’ll have more resources so stay tuned.

Then there’s all the times we just don’t want to do the work – there’s the play of aversion in having to work at being in our life with greater ease. Again, EVERYONE on the planet has some thing in their life that they just don’t want to do. We all get tired of doing — there is aversion to one experience and attraction to another. Be easy with yourself in these times. Be a kind friend to yourself.

I don’t think that the attraction and aversion play is really the problem. I think it’s our holding on to our attractions and aversions that create problems. Just play with noticing the play of attraction and aversion in your life. Notice how you are attracted to one experience and averse to another. You needn’t try to change it. It’s a natural part of human life. And, these moments of being attracted to one experience and averse to another contribute to our feeling off — not quite centered. Notice, and practice letting go.

If you’ve been reading for a while, you know I’m facilitating a women’s retreat very soon in France. (Wanna come? We have ONE opening!). Anyway, last night, I was looking for airfare and noticed my shoulders beginning to hunch up, there was a tightness setting in around my mouth and eyes. Then there were the barest of responses to my loving and patient husband. My aversion to the high airfare was starting to get the best of me.

Can you see how it’s not only the big aversions that throw us off. It’s the little aversions and attractions as well.

After a while, after spending a little too long in this play between my frustration because of being caught up in the attraction to easy low fare and the aversion to high fares, I took a deep breath and closed my lap top. With practice, maybe next time, I’ll just watch the attraction and aversion like waves in the ocean of my experience and book a flight.

By Melanie | Posted in cultivating peace, meditation, mindfulness | Tagged attraction, aversion, holding on, inner peace, meditation, mindfulness, peace, practical spirituality, spiritual memoir, spiritual practice, spirituality| Comments (7)

sacred threads ~ wisdom in the present

May 3, 2010 – 10:36 am

There is a beautiful story by Leo Tolstoy that further illustrates the sublime practice of the present moment, “The Emperor’s Three Questions.” This story is replete with teachings about recognizing and serving the Divine in each other as well as practicing the present moment to experience the Presence. In Tolstoy’s story, the emperor sent out the decree that he would richly reward the one who answered these questions to his satisfaction;

1. When is the best time to do each thing?

2. Who are the most important people to work with?

3. What is the most important thing to do at all times?

Many, many people tried and failed to answer these seemingly simple questions. The emperor set off in search of the answers himself. He was told of a holy man who lived as a hermit and decided to find the hermit. Surely, such a man would be able to answer the questions.

When he finally reached the holy man, the emperor found him stooped, working in his garden. The hermit listened attentively to his questions, patted the emperor on the shoulder, and continued digging. The emperor, although perplexed by the hermit’s indifference to him, offered to help the old man. The hermit rested while the emperor dug. Many hours passed this way.

After some time, a wounded man approached. The emperor helped him, and dressed his wounds. In the morning, the wounded man regained consciousness and asked for water, which the emperor promptly fetched from the stream.

To the surprise of the emperor, the wounded man asked for the emperor’s forgiveness. The wounded man explained that he was a sworn enemy of the emperor who had killed his brother and seized his property. He had set off to kill the emperor but was caught by the emperor’s attendants who wounded him. After hearing the wounded man’s story, the emperor and the wounded man reconciled and the emperor ordered his attendants to return the man safely to his home.

The emperor approached the hermit, again asked his questions. The hermit smiled telling the emperor that his questions had already been answered.

The most important time was the time spent digging in the garden. For had the emperor not stopped and helped the old man by digging in the garden, he would have been attacked.

The most important person was the hermit and the most important pursuit was to help the hermit. Later, the most important time was the time spent helping the wounded man.

The most important person was of course the wounded man.

And the most important pursuit was dressing his wounds, for had he not done that the emperor would never have had the chance to reconcile with the man.

The old holy man told the emperor, “Remember that there is only one important time and that is now. The present moment is the only time over which we have dominion. The most important person is always the person you are with, who is right before you, for who knows if you will have dealings with any other person in the future. The most important pursuit is making that person, the one standing at your side, happy, for that alone is the pursuit of life.” (From Leo Tolstoy’s short story The Three Questions)

It seems that in order to discover the wisdom hidden in such a story (as well as the stories of our own lives) and drink the nectarean wisdom infused throughout such tales, we must slow down and contemplate the story.

The obvious message for being present and giving oneself fully to each unfolding moment offers an enticing entry into such contemplation. Yet, simply glancing at the notion that the “pursuit of life” is solely to bring happiness to the person at our side can raise the hackles of most of us who have been immersed in the pop psychology literature of the last couple of decades.

When I first read the story I felt myself bristle at the notion of trying to make another happy, after all, we are each responsible for ourselves, and our state of mind. However, upon considering how I would be with the person at my side if I knew her to be God, if he revealed himself to me as the essence of Divine Consciousness. Might then my pursuit indeed be to bring the Lord happiness? Only with a quiet mind have I glimpse the purity of such a pursuit. Again, I’m reminded of the value of a daily meditation practice.

Each one of us is faced with the challenge to slow down the rushing activity of the mind and the body and taste the nectar of the moments that make up daily life. For only in the present moment does Love, does the Greatest Mystery, reveal Itself. Only in the present can we glimpse Grace sneaking in.

As I mentioned in a previous Sacred Threads post, I sometimes feel as though I am playing a great game of hide and seek with God. If I let myself be still enough even in the midst of activity, I spot God and find mySelf at Home, in Heaven, in my heart. Enough of these moments strung together are like perfect pearls joining to form an exquisitely simple yet beautifully elegant strand of jeweled moments that make up the garland of my life.