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on being flexible

August 12, 2010 – 3:17 pm

Things don’t always unfold as I think they should.  Does that ever happen to you?  Come on, you can tell me.

Long ago, for Lent, I gave up having expectations, not that I’m Catholic or Episcopalian.  I just like the idea of Lent.  (Note to Self, write about Lent, during Lent!)  I found that I was not so successful at completely letting go of expectations, but it sure did make me more aware of the role expectations play in Life.

What brings this to mind is my recent trip to the mountains of North Carolina.  Let’s give a shout out to 75 degree weather!  Anyway, we were staying on the border of the Pisgah National Forest, where I fell in love, again, with trees.

What do trees have to do with expectations?

Expectations, if we hold them too tightly rob us of delight and peace in the unfolding moment.  Whereas, trees, ahhhhh, trees ~ their very existence demands that they be flexible.  The wind blows, they bend,  The snow falls, they bend.  They don’t seem to mind the wind and the snow.

In fact, the wind seems to empty them of their dead branches, revealing even more beauty.  So, they flow with the wind and let go of what is no longer alive.

I think we can learn from trees.

Where might you need to bend a little?

Where might flexibility open the door to delight or peace in the unfolding moment?

What expectation might you be holding on a little too tightly?

How might being a bit more flexible enrich the forest of your life?

Finally, what ideas or beliefs might you release like so many dead branches if you bent with what is, rather than with what you think should be?

By Melanie | Posted in cultivating peace, mindfulness | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | Comments (10)

follow your nose days

August 2, 2010 – 10:53 am

I love love love ‘follow my nose days.’  I aim to have a ‘follow my nose days’ at least once a week.  These days were inspired by one of my long time favorite books, “The Secret River” by Marjorie Kinnan Rawlings.

These are the days I wander through my life, following my nose.  It feels like finding and re-aligning with the Current of Life moving through me in the present moment—rather than setting out to accomplish a set of prescribed tasks.

Following your nose if the mindful practice of sensing the impulse of Life within, mindfully attending to whatever I’m doing until that impulse leads me elsewhere.  Being while doing.

Humans are a hidden stream whose source is hidden. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

On one recent ‘follow my nose days,’ I felt drawn to unload the dishes, mindfully.  This lead me to cleaning out underneath the sink, mindfully.  This lead me to deep cleaning my laundry room, mindfully.  On any other day, I might have called these activities ‘chores.’  On this day, these activities led me to a state of bliss.  I kid you not.

On other ‘follow my nose days,’ I’ve read, walked, played with the dogs, rolled around on the floor and stretched.  The trick is to do whatever you are doing with complete attention and when you feel drawn to do something else, do that, EVEN if the thing you started is not finished.  There are no rules, no shoulds.

In fact, following your nose frees you ‘should’ and teaches you to release the tension of ‘should’ in each moment.  These are the days I practice living as Brother Lawrence, as if there were no one but Thee and Me in the world.

The perfectly precious gift of following my nose is realigning myself with the Current of Life in me.  The bonus prize is the pure peace that comes from aligning with that Current.

If you can’t take a full day, take a morning or an afternoon.

If you can’t take a morning or an afternoon, take an hour.

If you can’t take an hour, take a half hour.

Follow your nose.  What happens?  What Wisdom flows to you when you are aligned with the Current of Life in you?  Can you sense the Source of your stream?  I’d love to hear your stories.

By Melanie | Posted in mindfulness | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | Comments (7)

retreat!

July 12, 2010 – 5:00 pm

“Absolutely worth the time and effort!”  If you are wondering what I’m talking about, you are not one of the many people who have been asking me, “So, how was the retreat in France?”

In a nutshell, it was fantastic!  The food, the setting, the companionship, the wisdom and reflection —  all of it was just fantastic!  I loved watching the women on the retreat blossom in the warmth of a small group of incredible women in an incredible setting.  And, the sunflowers WERE in bloom!  Just glorious.


Sunflowers in Monclar de Quercy


Each morning, we began the day in a stained glass windowed room with meditation followed by stretching… or vice versa.  The day unfolded from there with a variety of activities from one-to-one sessions with me, massage, facials, walks, excursions to simply exquisite places, delicious food, retreat sessions and great good company.

One participant shared that “this trip was, by far, the best trip I’ve ever taken!”

I think that something magical and alchemical happens when you bring together a group of women in a setting away from the familiar.  There were new insights and breakthroughs everyday.

One breakthrough for me was realizing that I absolutely love doing retreats like this in other countries and in our own magnificent country.  By the time it was all over, the participants were saying, “Where are we going next year?  Bali?  The Amalfi Coast of Italy?

There are several amazing places for retreat.  And, I’m am more and more clear about the difference between a retreat and a vacation.  One big difference is a schedule.  On my retreats, we take the support of a flexible schedule.  One primary benefit of having a flexible schedule is that the benefits of the retreat stay long after the retreat is over.  That’s not always the case with a vacation.  Another benefit of a flexible schedule is that you are able to experience and integrate new places, new people and new, more authentic ways of being.

If you’ve not planned a retreat for yourself yet this year, plan one!  Take a look at my book, an illumined life, if you need some support.

If you are a woman and would like to join me on retreat, take part in this survey and help me choose the time and location of our next retreat!  Take the survey now.


Reflecting in Carcassonne


By Melanie | Posted in Uncategorized, cultivating peace, this i believe | Tagged , , , , | Comments (11)