I am a big believer in mentors.  Mentors have enriched my life throughout my life.  My first mentor was Dick Olney, the father of Self Acceptance Training.  More recently, I’ve been studying with Zivorad Slavinski, the founder of Spiritual Technology.  Both Dick and Zivorad have deeply influenced me both personally and professionally.  More recently, I’ve found business mentors – two incredible women who are teaching me how to share what I have to share.  As a social worker, I’ve been challenged to find teachers who come at business from a heart-centered/service oriented place – enter Tory Johnson and Michelle Pippin.

When I’ve asked Tory about some project I’m working on, her first question is something along the lines of “what outcome are you going for?”  I love that question.  It refocuses me back to my intention.  It brings me back to beginning with the end in mind.

Well here’s where it gets interesting for me.  A few months back I did a piece of Spiritual Technology work with a friend of mine, Judith Daniel, that Zivorad calls the “Unification of Time.”  One of the many benefits of this piece of work has been that I’ve come more fully into the present with more clarity about the past and future.   At least that’s how I’ve experienced it and what my clients describe. 

This means that though I’ve had a daily meditation practice for the last almost 30 years and have long experienced the benefits of mindfulness meditation, after this work I’ve found myself effortlessly experiencing myself in the present.  For those of you who have read Eckhart Tolle or practice mindfulness meditation, I trust that you can understand what I’m talking about here.  Another of the benefits of this piece of work has been that I’ve found myself being much clearer about my goals in just about every area of life.  Further, this clarity has not come from sitting down and fretting over goals, it’s been more like I’ve become aware of goals from a purer place within, goals that are aligned with me at the deepest level.  Very cool.

Anyway, back to the beginning with the end in mind.  After this work with Judith, I found myself thinking more and more about my death.  If you’ve never contemplated your death, it’s a worthwhile contemplation.  In thinking about my death, I found myself remembering Tory’s question and asked myself, “What kind of death do I want?  And if I want that kind of death, what do I need to do NOW to set the stage for that?”  I’m beginning with the end in mind — with the awareness of my eventual death.   I’m quite certain that when Tory asks me this question, she is not intending that I think about my death, but about what I’m offering in my business.  What’s a contemplative girl to do?

This contemplation has inspired me in numerous ways.  I’m walking more, I’m coming out of the closet with offering more workshops in spiritual technology, even the way I interact seems to be changing — effortlessly.  This contemplation is putting my life in perspective in a different way.  Of course, I’ve always known that I will one day die.  But somehow holding that contemplation has opened up life for me in a new way.  It feels like I’m living more fully, more freely.

It’s like Steve Jobs said, “Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.”

How do you stay on track with living more fully and following your heart?

I have a cracked flower pot on my front porch.  It’s far from perfect.  Yet, there is some beauty in its imperfection that fills my heart.  It reminds me of the sweet container that is my body.  Less than perfect.

My body at 52 can no longer do all the cool stuff it could do without effort in my twenties, thirties and even forties.  Yet, still it carries me around everyday.  It is a container for my life that sometimes feels like a cracked pot.  It carries old injuries and is the container for current pleasures.  Everyday, without fail, it carries me.

I have mourned the loss of former capacities.  I’ve rid myself of the old expectations of what this body can do, much like pulling old flowers that have long past offered their last blossom.  The last year or so I’ve embraced new ways of being with my body that honor where I am now, rather than where I was.  I’m learning to plant new flowers and pleasures into the container of my life.

Looking at this flowerpot reminds me to love and live where I am rather than where I was and where I might be later.  How do you remember to live where you are?  With what blossoms are you filling the container of your life as it is now?

Thich Nhat Hanh a contemporary Buddhist monk, writes with great elegance of the joy to be found in bringing our awareness to the present moment.  He encourages us to be so completely immersed in the task at hand that it becomes to us the most important thing in our life.

In The Miracle of Mindfulness, he writes, “While washing the dishes, you might be thinking about the tea afterwards, and so try to get them out of the way as quickly as possible in order to sit and drink tea.  But that means that you are incapable of living during the time you are washing the dishes.  When you are washing the dishes, washing the dishes must be the most important thing in your life.  Just as when you’re drinking tea, drinking tea must be the most important thing in your life.”

When I look into the lives of spiritually awake people across spiritual traditions, there seems to be a common thread.  Each lived or lives deliberately with an appreciation of the uniqueness of each moment, each circumstance, each person.

Each of us can let each moment become a moment of deliberate, conscious living.  Each of us can learn, with practice, patience, and perseverance, to greet the Presence of God, of Consciousness, of Spirit, of Shakti and welcome that formless Presence regardless of the form.  Each of us can let each moment’s experience become a way of seeking out God’s Presence and increasing our love for that Presence.

Living in such a way, we become the artists of our own life.  We can sculpt, paint, and dance our way through each day.  We need only to pick up and use the tools at our disposal and one of these tools is the practice of the present moment.

Of course, we cannot shape each circumstances of our lives, though there is debate about that.  We can, however, completely shape our response to Life circumstances and embrace the Presence in each unfolding moment.  With Grace, we step aside from the thoughts that lead us to believe Grace is somewhere other than the present.

This may seem obvious, ridiculous or perhaps overwhelming.  Yet, in practice it becomes sublime and poetic.  It may be that searching out the sacred in each day, looking for holiness in a single moment over the course of a single day feels more attainable than the seemingly monumental task of recognizing the sacredness of each and every moment.

However you approach such a practice, the practice is one of slowing down for the moment, by doing one thing at a time.  A neighbor of mine once summed this up for me with beautiful simplicity, “when walking, walk.”

The integration of centering practices is a meaningful way of enriching your experience of the Presence in the present.  If you are interested in deepening your experience of centering practice, consider investing in my new 21 day audio program - Reclaim Your Life and Learn to Live in Balance.

Things don’t always unfold as I think they should.  Does that ever happen to you?  Come on, you can tell me.

Long ago, for Lent, I gave up having expectations, not that I’m Catholic or Episcopalian.  I just like the idea of Lent.  (Note to Self, write about Lent, during Lent!)  I found that I was not so successful at completely letting go of expectations, but it sure did make me more aware of the role expectations play in Life.

What brings this to mind is my recent trip to the mountains of North Carolina.  Let’s give a shout out to 75 degree weather!  Anyway, we were staying on the border of the Pisgah National Forest, where I fell in love, again, with trees.

What do trees have to do with expectations?

Expectations, if we hold them too tightly rob us of delight and peace in the unfolding moment.  Whereas, trees, ahhhhh, trees ~ their very existence demands that they be flexible.  The wind blows, they bend,  The snow falls, they bend.  They don’t seem to mind the wind and the snow.

In fact, the wind seems to empty them of their dead branches, revealing even more beauty.  So, they flow with the wind and let go of what is no longer alive.

I think we can learn from trees.

Where might you need to bend a little?

Where might flexibility open the door to delight or peace in the unfolding moment?

What expectation might you be holding on a little too tightly?

How might being a bit more flexible enrich the forest of your life?

Finally, what ideas or beliefs might you release like so many dead branches if you bent with what is, rather than with what you think should be?

I love love love ‘follow my nose days.’  I aim to have a ‘follow my nose days’ at least once a week.  These days were inspired by one of my long time favorite books, “The Secret River” by Marjorie Kinnan Rawlings.

These are the days I wander through my life, following my nose.  It feels like finding and re-aligning with the Current of Life moving through me in the present moment—rather than setting out to accomplish a set of prescribed tasks.

Following your nose if the mindful practice of sensing the impulse of Life within, mindfully attending to whatever I’m doing until that impulse leads me elsewhere.  Being while doing.

Humans are a hidden stream whose source is hidden. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

On one recent ‘follow my nose days,’ I felt drawn to unload the dishes, mindfully.  This lead me to cleaning out underneath the sink, mindfully.  This lead me to deep cleaning my laundry room, mindfully.  On any other day, I might have called these activities ‘chores.’  On this day, these activities led me to a state of bliss.  I kid you not.

On other ‘follow my nose days,’ I’ve read, walked, played with the dogs, rolled around on the floor and stretched.  The trick is to do whatever you are doing with complete attention and when you feel drawn to do something else, do that, EVEN if the thing you started is not finished.  There are no rules, no shoulds.

In fact, following your nose frees you ‘should’ and teaches you to release the tension of ‘should’ in each moment.  These are the days I practice living as Brother Lawrence, as if there were no one but Thee and Me in the world.

The perfectly precious gift of following my nose is realigning myself with the Current of Life in me.  The bonus prize is the pure peace that comes from aligning with that Current.

If you can’t take a full day, take a morning or an afternoon.

If you can’t take a morning or an afternoon, take an hour.

If you can’t take an hour, take a half hour.

Follow your nose.  What happens?  What Wisdom flows to you when you are aligned with the Current of Life in you?  Can you sense the Source of your stream?  I’d love to hear your stories.

Thich Nhat Hanh, a contemporary Buddhist monk, writes with great elegance of the joy to be found in bringing our awareness to the present moment.  He encourages us to be so completely immersed in the task at hand that it becomes to us the most important thing in our life.

He writes, “While washing the dishes, you might be thinking about the tea afterwards, and so try to get them out of the way as quickly as possible in order to sit and drink tea.  But that means that you are incapable of living during the time you are washing the dishes.  When you are washing the dishes, washing the dishes must be the most important thing in your life.  Just as when you’re drinking tea, drinking tea must be the most important thing in your life.” (Miracle of Mindfulness, p. 24)

With such great beings as Brother Lawrence, and our own contemporaries, such as Thich Nhat Hanh, we are in good company in our search for the Truth.  It is through the glimpses of the Divine that philosophers, poets and saints have experienced and shared that we find assurance that such a search is not in vain.

From their yearning to know Truth, they seem to have attained great understanding and found their way Home.  It is our good fortune that they left many clues on the path.  The reverence with which they approached the moments of their lives, continue to inspire seekers today.

Such seekers seem (for who among us truly knows the experience of another)  to deliberately approach life with an appreciation of the uniqueness of each moment, each circumstance, each person.

We, too, can let each moment become a moment of deliberate, conscious living.  We, too, can learn, with practice, patience, and perseverance, to greet the Presence in the present and welcome that formless Presence regardless of the form.  We, too, can let each moment’s experience become a way of seeking out Presence and open to that experience whole-heartedly.  Even the joys and the sorrows, opening to what is present.

Not one of us escapes heart-ache and truly not one of us lives every single moment in that kind of pain.  It seems that in opening to be with what is as it is, ‘what is’ seems to change.  All this to say, say ‘hello’ to this moment with your whole heart.

Charleston on the Battery

If’ you’ve been reading for a while, you know by now that I find comfort in exploring my spirituality from multiple vantage points including diving into esoteric spiritual texts from a variety of cultures and human experience.  One of these texts is the Vijnana Bhairava. This book is a collection of dharanas, centering techniques.  These techniques not only center a seeker, but open her to experiencing the wonder of the Divine Presence.  The English Translation of this text has a captivating title, “The Yoga of Delight, Wonder, and Astonishment.”

One of my favorite centering techniques from this text is the practice of gazing, without blinking, at the sky.  “If one makes himself thoroughly immobile beholds the pure (cloudless) sky with fixed eyes, at that very moment, O goddess, he will acquire the nature of Bhairava (Supreme Consciousness).”

One day, after a long weekend of tiring work, a friend of mine and I took a day of rest on the beach.  After a long walk, we lay side by side gazing at the sky, our bodies still and minds quiet.  We breathed deeply and took in the great expanse above us.  After some time, I asked her if she could see the thousands of tiny dots of light that seemed to be dancing before my eyes.  She did.  Together, we gazed at the sky in wonder.  I felt myself as made of the same particles of light that danced before me.  I experienced a dissolving of the illusion that my friend and I were somehow different than the sand, the ocean, and the sky.  I was filled with a sense of quiet wonder and complete love.

As each object of Nature carries the energy of God, the Presence of the Divine, it follows that each object of Nature can then carry the wisdom of the Divine.  However, to experience that recognition I must stop, but for a moment, to consider it to be a manifestation of God.  I pause.  And, in that pause, Nature seems to open a doorway to reveal some Truth.

Even the path of the sun in the sky, lends itself to revealing the mysterious Presence of God in its very predictability.  Further contemplating the sun, I experience its generosity in the sensation of warmth on my skin or taste a bite of fruit in remembrance of its rays.  The ways in which I can contemplate Nature and find solace in it is truly endless.

In fact, images of Nature, simply gazing at Nature can naturally return me to a state of peace.  Such images are abundant, infinite and easily accessible.  For instance, walking outside and gazing up at the sky, or simply sitting where I am and remembering the vastness of the sky can lure me to the experience of knowing I am in the Presence of God.

It’s comforting to me to know I’m not alone in my quest to deepen my relationship to Spirit and to use any doorway that takes me there.  Nature is a broad doorway.  The Native American reverence for Nature is well known and continues to gain respect as many look to deepen their understanding of and appreciation of Nature as well as challenge previously held beliefs and assumptions.

Consider the wisdom in this statement from the Mohawk Nation (This quote is from an old journal and I can’t find the source.  If anyone knows the source, please share), “We are shown that our life exists with the tree life, that our well being depends on the well-being of the vegetable life, that we are close relatives of the four-legged beings.  In our ways, spiritual consciousness is the highest form of politics . . . We believe that all living things are spiritual beings.  Spirits can be expressed as energy forms manifested in matter.  A blade of grass is an energy form manifested in matter – grass matter.  The spirit of the grass is that unseen force which produces the species of grass, and it is manifest to us in the form of real grass.”

Any aspect of Nature, from a single acorn, to the changing seasons can teach me more of the Truth of who I am.  What if I listen more deeply, and let God be God in any and all manifestations before me?  Might then I glimpse the beauty and peace of the Eternal in the Present moment?

Rushing to meet Kaitlyn (daughter) and David (husband) for dinner one night last week, I arrived at the meeting place to find myself harried and waiting….and frustrated.  In my mind, we had already rushed through dinner and were arriving late for Tennessee Shines.  Am I the only one does this?

So, I sat in the car and breathed deeply and evenly.  Though calmer and a little more present, I was still frustrated by the time David arrived.  Being my best friend, he asked what was wrong.  Being his best friend, I told him, with as much kindness and respect as I could.  Though I was frustrated with him for not meeting me at the time I thought we were meeting, my frustration was not his responsibility.

What struck me about this moment in time when I was out of this moment was how easy it was to come back to the present.  I mean, it didn’t happen in the snap of my fingers, but as I reflect on what happened, I recognize a couple of components that brought me back so that by the time Kait showed up, I was fully present and happy to be where I was.

The reason I think it’s important to reflect on this stuff is that I think it takes practice, and for me, I need to know what I’m practicing.

First, I practiced self acceptance – accepting that I was frustrated and worried about being late.

Second, I took responsibility for my own state without blaming others.

Third, I began working to restore my state with breathing (and another trick that’s takes more explanation than I want to go into here).

Fourth, this is where it’s interesting for me because I told David what was going on for me and he listened, really listened as he usually does, and he gave me empathetic understanding.  He didn’t justify or resist me, he simply accepted how I felt and conveyed his understanding of what I was experiencing.  Why that’s interesting is that because he was being present, he was fully present with me.  And, his being present helped me return to the present.

So, again I am reminded of the incredible power of self acceptance, self responsibilty, the breath and empathy.  I imagine that had David been less than empathetic, I might have found even more reasons to hold onto my frustration, trying to justify my position and stayed even more stuck in some moment other than the present moment.  I would have discharged the charge without his empathy, but it would have taken me longer.  Yayy for empathy!

For a long time now, I’ve asked my daughter to teach me to cook. More than once, she declined. Instead, she’s chosen to teach me ABOUT cooking via her favorite things in the world, books. For Christmas she gave me two books in her series of “Teaching Mama about Cooking.”

The first book The Soul of a Chef: The Journey Toward Perfection, opened my eyes to the experience of cooking free – free from my ideas, rules, pain, old experiences. I realized how bound up I am about cooking. And, I’ve been cooking. Cooking Good Food. I’m surprised.

In the past, I’ve cooked mostly to eat, not to experience the journey of cooking. From the moment of walking into the kitchen and opening a cabinet to sitting at a candlelit table across from the love of my life, it is a real journey. I can be present for that journey or I can be somewhere wandering in some imagined future moment when I’m sitting to eat.

I never really saw that choice before. Something’s happening. I’m expanding. No, I don’t mean my waistline. I am expanding into the wide open spaces of the present moment.

What works for you to help you stay present to the preciousness of life’s moments?