In a recent conversation with a group of extraordinary women, we drifted into exploring the very human tendency to hold on.  We hold on to old hurts, regrets, resentments, expectations.  We hold onto ideas, beliefs, stuff.  There are endless possibilities for holding on.

Here’s the thing, when holding on and letting go is out of balance, we are restricting our capacity to experience  freedom and peacefulness in the present moment.

One very like-able woman held onto the idea that at some point her adult son would come around to appreciating her and would actually like her.  Another held onto a desire for her mother to be happy in the midst of a very challenging time.  Yet another held onto the wish for a medical procedure to be in her past and not in her future.  One woman talked about holding on to stuff that was cluttering up her home.  And I have been holding on to the expectation that a person I have been trying to contact would actually return my calls as well as my frustration that they haven’t thus far.

All of this holding on, whether it is a thought, a belief, a person, a desire, even an old, out-dated way of being robs each of us of the joy and peace available in the present.  In fact, it is impossible to fully be present to what IS when we are wishing for what could be, lamenting the past and hoping for the future.

Someone once asked an esteemed monk, “What is the secret of your contentment?”  He replied, “I don’t mind what is.”

As this group of wise women played around in the field of accepting what is, it became clearer to me that when holding on and letting go are in balance, it is easier to enter that garden of contentment – not minding what is – it is easier to enter the sublime garden of the present moment.

So, the question I invite you to play with is this; when you are experiencing any kind of suffering, what are you holding on to?  And, borrowing from the Sedona Method, ask yourself these questions; Could I let go?  Would I let go?  When?  Asking several rounds of these questions can help loosen your grip.