I can always tell the difference when someone is listening to me through their ego and when they are listening to me through their heart.  However, I’m not always so adept at discerning when I’m listening through the ears of my ego and when I’m listening through the ears of my heart.

Nonetheless, I’m practicing…a work in process.  Sometimes, people say how hard personal development is, for it seems to never end.  My response?  “What else are you going to do with your life?”  So these days, I’m attending to listening.

Along with a colleague, Michael Carter, I’ve been working with the leadership team in a local school to increase their collaborative leadership skills.  This team has committed to giving of their time and energy to devote to this program, “AWAKEN! Collaborative Leadership”  for the 2009 -2010 school year.  Ultimately, the time and attention of these committed teachers trickles down and touches hundreds of lives!  Yayyyyy Teachers!

Anyway, we’ve been exploring the leadership principles that make up the AWAKEN Program.  One of those principles is wrapped around a willingness to engage in authentic communication…so, here we are, back to listening.

Clearly deep and real listening, the kind of listening that most of us yearn for in our relationships, transcends the ego and comes straight through the heart.  This kind of listening is free of shoulds and demands.  This kind of listening waits patiently and asks questions that aim at helping to better fully understand what’s being said.

One participant in the AWAKEN! Program shared that she’s noticing that she has often makes up her mind about someone and what they are saying AND finds a solution before they’ve even finished talking.  She committed to the group that she will be practicing listening…deep authentic listening.

Her willingness to share herself so authentically with the group and their response to her inspired me and deepened my own understanding of listening.  Even though I spend a good deal of my day listening, I began to pay more attention to the quality of my listening.

Am I listening through the ears of my ego or the ears of my heart?

Are you?  How do you tell the difference?